A couple of blogs ago I wrote about they ways of being church outside the church that I don’t think get enough attention. One of these is community gardens. Many of our churches host community gardens. And my family happens to have two different plots at two different churches.

We love it! It often results in a toddler head to toe in mud and a continual struggle to keep her out of neighbouring plots, but without a back yard we would have no other opportunity to teach our daughter about the garden, or eat a million organic tomatoes every year!

I have also seen how these community gardens foster a greater community. We have garden neighbours who are growing things from their birth countries that I have never seen before  (sometimes we even get to taste them!). There are many plots run by people from the nearby retirement home (another great ministry outside the church) who delight in entertaining our daughter. And we get to learn gardening skills from people who have been gardening much longer than us!

Even more surprisingly, we often run into people from campus or work who have no church affiliation whatsoever, who delight in this church program. And our daughter gets to witness it all. Neighbours, local food, the outdoors, good clean dirt, and time as a family. And it is good.

The church I attend shares its building with several congregations. This is a fairly normal situation these days, I believe. However, my church has a particular agreement which means we share a Sunday school and several services a year with our partner congregation.

I think working ecumenically is a great thing. However, I am also inclined to say that economic reasons are probably the main factor for many of these building-sharing arrangements. And this is where I get a little uncomfortable.

I can share a couple of worship services a year that contain praise music which offends my sensibility. But, I am not going to send my daughter to a Sunday school where I don’t know what is being taught.

This has been a hard conversation to have with church members. There doesn’t seem to be a sense that there could be a significant difference between Christian theological traditions. And maybe the Sunday school curriculum is fine. But I want to know, in the curriculum are there more then heteronormative families represented? Is there any acknowledgement of the church year and deeper themes than “Jesus was born at Christmas”? Is “Jesus must save you” at all in there? (because then I am out!).

In order to have these conversations, we would need to first acknowledge difference between denominations. The complicating factor here, is that working together is a good idea. But is it truly working together if we can’t openly acknowledge and accommodate how we are different?

One of the things I struggle with when thinking about bringing up my family in the church – is the struggle of being church outside the church. Or rather the fact that I find it easier to be church outside the church than in. For example, some of the best ways I have found to live out my faith have been in secular organizations which are too often ahead of our church organizations and frankly just have more people at my stage of life working towards things that I happen to be interested in because of my faith.

Or, I have found that the places in the church where I see the work I would like to see happen are on the edges, programs that our larger church body maybe doesn’t fully understand, so the programs don’t get the support they need – like the fact that WLS has an amazing psychotherapy and spiritual care program that people from all faiths and walks of life attend. This doesn’t primarily serve our Lutheran body but it is changing our larger communities for the better. Or that until recently dozens of high school students a year attended a secular Community and environmental leadership programs at Edgewood. These life changing high school experiences sent students back to their schools after a semester of seriously considering how their daily actions, the literature they read, their government, consumer practices etc. affect creation and society.

So I guess this post is just to articulate an anxiety I have as a parent. I see amazing things happening on the edges of our church --  but they aren’t necessarily where we as a church body put our money or appreciation. I have had to find ways outside the church to live out my calling on the edges, and the more young adults, youth and seminary students I meet in the church the more I see them struggling to find the support to live out their faith in new and different ways. Ways we don’t have an infrastructure to support or channel the resources we have towards.  Will my daughter feel supported in the work she is called to? I hope we as a church body move more and more towards these edge places and don’t hesitate to affirm and work into the parts of our programming which reach large groups of people, though they are not focused on building our traditional church body.

I recently helped out at a VBS hosted at my church, but not by my church. I should say off the bat that I totally believe in the appropriate and intentional use of technology. But the sharp contrast between what I remember from VBS as a kid and what I witnessed at this VBS was disappointing for me.

When I was a kid, VBS was magical. There was a big room with story sets all round and each day a bible character would come and tell their story. My imagination came alive! It was so real! The lion from Daniel in the lion’s den TALKED to us! And the music! The songs were so much fun. Each year had a theme. Sometimes we made up dances to them and people in the congregation played instruments. We used shakers and waved ribbons. It was really a time when I felt I could be creative and free and the whole community was involved.

The VBS I recently helped at also had a lot of people involved in a community. But, at the same time it was much more packaged. In particular, my problem was with the singing time. When it was time to sing a song the screen would come down and display a music video of very fashionable kids doing a choreographed dance and singing. Kids either sat and watched or imitated what was happening on the screen. Basically it is what I am calling VBS much music.

My concern is this: kids are going to do this anyways. They will get to the age where they are going to watch music videos passively on the couch, or try and dress like the actors and imitate their dance moves. Why are we getting YOUNGER children to do the same thing in church?

Singing as a community is very different: it invites participation and ownership in several ways. Kids can help in the leadership and use their creative skills. They build relationships with the adults who are teaching and facilitating the creative process. The result is a totally different message. I expect children’s programing at church to be counter-cultural, otherwise we can just turn on the TV at home.

My best purchase this year was a Wee-Ride. What is a Wee-Ride you ask? Well, a Wee-Ride is a seat for a small child (age 1-4) that goes between your arms and behind your handlebars on your bicycle. It is much more affordable than a bike trailer and I can see and hear all my daughter’s reactions as we fly by the ducks and trees.

The most exciting part of this purchase, however, as been the way we have discovered the bike trails in our community. We used to live in Victoria BC, where biking everywhere is just second nature. But, in moving back to Ontario, I think I just assumed we didn’t have the infrastructure to make cycling a practical means of transportation with a family (I am not comfortable cycling with my daughter on the side of the road in our city). Turns out I was wrong! There are a host of bike trails, some in better condition then others. Turns out we can get most places on them if we leave the time. It as been my joy this year to discover these trails with my daughter.

My daughter now calls the bike “bump bump” and taps her head to make sure her helmet is on before climbing on the bike (she needs to tap mine too!). As a one car family, being set up to cycle together has left me with more freedom, as my partner regularly has the car.

Oh and how is this related to faith? If we are biking we are not in the car. Period.